Believe it or not

 First I was waiting on beta readers. Then the first one got back to me and I had to take a break and reset emotionally.

It's funny. A story is words on a page. That's all it is. Those words are surprisingly thin. Not even quite a skeleton of the world that you are hoping to bring to life. So it should be no surprise that the world the reader experiences may not be the world the writer experienced.

But that's not the point of today's remark. The point is, it is a world, a whole world that exists in your mind and the words on the page are merely the reportage. Before you can change those words, you have to change that world. And it feels like a life change. Like changing jobs or moving to a new town or redecorating. You have to let go of all your memories of what had been and clear your mind until you can begin building what it is now. It takes a little time and, yes, it can be emotionally jarring.

***

While I was doing that, I played games. (Plus I was depressed and still getting over a cold and it was really hot). And I am really enjoying Alien: Isolation.

I didn't expect to. The play can be nerve-wracking. It is like the ultimate stealth game, except that you are up against an AI that doesn't helpfully patrol in a fixed pattern. 

But also, the scenery is gorgeous. I'm mildly disappointed in the Sebastopol being yet one more of these ruined, debris-strewn settings. I liked the whatever-it-was better; it was described in-game as being a sister ship to the Nostromo, only cleaned up a hell of a lot after a lot of hard work.

Still, even in the station I just love the way the tech looks, especially the stuff you have to interact with -- including the save points. (Yeah, that's one trick they do to make it exceptionally nerve-wracking. You can't save-scrum. You have to make it alive to the next save point. And yes when I decided to stop and take a break last night I was on what is apparently the most frustrating episode of the game, when you are trying to get out of Doctor Morley's office and the Alien has taken an interest in you.)

And now I'm going back to play from the beginning. It's a relatively short game anyhow, but now that I know I won't see the not-the-Nostromo again with time to crawl around and enjoy the scenery, and that I missed a couple of important pick-ups...  And maybe this time I can finally get out of Doctor Morley's office.