To thine own self be true

I'm not in love with my protagonist.

It's actually a little annoying. I mean, this is a character that was designed to be a bit Mary-Sue. Either the traditional definition, or the modified, "yanks the entire plot and universe into orbit about her own gravity."

Penny is going from naive tourist to Lara Croft in one easy lesson (or two, or a dozen...) So on the one side, she comes on stage with a ridiculous number of pre-existing skills. And on the other, she is walking into a universe that seems willing to bend over backwards to let her succeed.

Well, at least that was the first book. The London book is the "reality ensues" book.

Of course this is also the Everyman Hero from so many films. The guy (almost always a guy) whose claim to physical competence is "played some sports" and is just so "gosh darn that's terrible fellows hey maybe if we all worked together we could fix it" the person who walks into an existing situation and instantly becomes the most important person in it.

But none of that changes that I just don't have an emotional connection with my protagonist. Who is my narrator. Who is my first person narrator; the entire story is told in her voice.

The main thing I connect with her on is that she can get really geeky about history. The whole series is largely an excuse for me to get geeky about history. (And lecture about pseudo-history, but so far there hasn't been an opportunity). Other than that she's largely defined by a list of what I didn't want to do. I didn't want her to snark or make endless pop-culture references. I didn't want her to act like old people. I didn't want her body-conscious or shy. There's a list of things I've seen done too often and am tired of, and there's an equally tired list of things I would do if I wasn't trying to stop myself.

So, sure, I sympathized with her struggles. And I expect to sympathize more in the next one, as it will have lots of cold and damp and dirt and bad food and so on. And uncomfortable work situations. But it is just a physical sympathy. I'm not feeling her goals, her concerns.

I'm not rooting for her, not yet. And maybe it isn't her, maybe it is the situation. Either way, this is something I have to solve before I can finish outlining this thing.