1POV OTS

Revisited a podcast and it agreed in many places with what I'm thinking about First Person.

The mirror bit, for instance. You can argue you don't want to use it because it has become cliche. That's fine. But that's not really the problem with it. The problem is that most of us don't do that. I mean if I look in a mirror, my internal monolog is, "Yeah, I can get away with another day before I have to shave." Not, "Oh, look, I have brown hair and eyes."

We don't usually look at ourselves externally like this, whether or not a mirror is involved. But here's the caveats; "usually," and within certain values of "we." To the former, there are times when you either chose to look at yourself analytically or comparatively; "I look more like my father every day." There are also times, for some of us, when a mirror or a recording catches us by surprise; "Do I really sound like that?"

And to the latter..."we" is not inclusive. Some people are constantly worrying about the specifics of what they look like. Trying out different looks; "I really liked how the perm framed my face." Being critical, "My complexion is too light to carry off that eyeliner." And, yes, "She's prettier than I am."

Ain't it fun being human sometimes.

So, yeah, if you really need to drop her red hair into the narrative, have her pick out a green sweater. Or have her make a snide internal comment about whether redheads really do have more fun. The convenient mirror is as obvious as the convenient Watson.

Related to this, the question of what people were wearing came up again. My rule is simple; some characters notice. Some don't. And the noticing is contextual; they may notice what people are wearing at a restaurant and assure themselves that sandals and shorts are going to pass. They may notice what the pretty girl is wearing. They may notice uniforms and by long habit check for rank tags. The mistake isn't describing. The mistake is never describing. The mistake is doing an identical police blotter on every character that is introduced.

(And, yeah...everything connects to everything, sooner or later. My current POV character is totally aware that after sneaking around in the woods her clothes are all dirty. I'd point the camera away so I don't have to bog down the story with the logistics of doing laundry. The narrative voice, however, doesn't want to play along.)

Clothing isn't special. This goes for clothing, architecture, weather, everything. I think it is actually part of the fun in writing in First Person. And, yeah, this is true in Third Person as well. Third Person Limited, that is. Third Person Omniscient has a completely different set of issues.





And that brings us to First Person Over-The-Shoulder. First Person is usually written in past tense. I've heard from one author who actually uses italics for internally verbalized thoughts just so he can tag them like dialog and make them shade closer to the immediate.

Back in earlier decades First Person was often placed in a framing story; the Time Traveler would sit down with friends and then, after the brandy and cigars had been brought out, launch into his narrative. These days the urge is towards bringing the narrative as close as possible to present without actually using present tense.

This means avoiding anything along the line of, "Had I but known..." The illusion is difficult enough to maintain.

(Heck, I have enough of a problem with past-past events. That is, when someone narrating in past tense needs to talk about something that had happened previously. "He came to the wall. Last week, the wall had looked forty feet tall and sheer as glass. Now, he looked at it with new eyes...")



Another fascinating thing about First Person is that you can do an "as you know Bob" in it. Here's the thing; you can indeed and most of us do go over a review of what we actually know on occaision. Because in our own heads there's only us, not some other person who has heard it already and doesn't want to hear it again. A maid-and-butler can be made to work if you turn it into a character moment, or find some other creative frame like a pre-flight checklist. Within First Person, you don't have to be that clever.

I think, perhaps, one of the reasons it works is because we don't think in words. We verbalize when we need to, but if a character says to themselves, "I quickly reviewed what I knew..." it isn't the same as laboriously putting it into a simplified explanation that is convenient for the reader as well. Which is what you have to do if the maid and butler are doing it in dialog. I mean, sure, it ends up the same words, but there's that convenient fiction of First Person that you are getting a sort of shorthand of their thoughts, not a set of words they are dictating around their cigar and brandy snifter.

(I am still on the fence with internal dialog. In our own minds, we think and take notice of our surroundings and plan our next step without usually putting it into words. It is only when we are composing a letter or thinking through something carefully and precisely that we internally verbalize it. Thing is, every single bit of the experience, both what the character sees and what they think about it, is already presented as a narrative. I know there should be a difference. But it feels artificial to try to apply it.)

(It may depend on the kind of narrative voice, including the rhythm and sound of it. Maybe for some characters, "There was a tramway leading to the peak. Funiculi, Funicula, I thought," works, and for others, "There was a tramway leading to the peak. Funiculi, Funicula," is better.)



But was First Person really the best way to tell my current story? I came to it in this case mostly because the character is going to spend a lot of time by herself, or at least without a confidante to bounce things off of. And, sure, you can get the same information across; "It reminded me of what Diogenes had said to Alexander," is easily replaced with "It reminded her of what Diogenes had said to Alexander..." If you think you can't do a rich internal life without using First Person, you haven't read any Joyce.

I think what makes First Person -- its greatest flaw as well as its strength -- is attitude. "The cocky bastard came in swinging and I wiped the leer off his stupid face with a left hook," just isn't a sentence that transplants well to Third Person. Not saying it can't be done. Just that it is so easy to do with the appropriate POV.

I had toyed with Third Person. And even with switching viewpoints. I did actually try the latter; to have Penny narrate in First Person but to describe some of the things she did in character as Athena Fox in Third Person. It didn't work for me.

A problem within the problem is that at various places Penny "becomes the mask." When she is completely immersed in the character of Athena Fox, it doesn't just change her spoken dialog...it is reflected in the internal narrative. She is calmer and more confident. And this begins bleeding through to those times she isn't in character.

And, yeah. That's going to be tough to pull off.