Wrote the scene. Next day was very tired after work but still got one thing done; I decided it didn't work.
What I was missing was the immediacy and the sensory impact. So instead of telling most of it through the framing story, I'm trying to tell it in direct quotes from the diary. Which is more work of course.
This is a crunch scene in that the outline said that Linnet was going to slowly reveal as her relationship with the Captain developed. But as I hit draft I find I don't have the luxury of time. Linnet only got six scenes total when I counted back to the earliest possible day I could have the diary unearthed.
I got two hundred words into the more immediate approach and I read that aloud and I realized I was name-dropping without sufficient context. So back to the drawing board again. The idea seems sound but the execution...?
Another draft and got a little further. And then realized this is where a lot of threads are coming together. This scene is having to do the entire "develop the relationship" in one go, and it is also the culmination of all the scenes with Graham because on the following day, he blows up at her and those are the last direct quotes we'll get from him.
And as soon as I realized that I thought of a couple of "bits" and directions the scene could go and beats I wanted and I realized...
I need to set it aside for another day while I think about it some more.
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